Russian Roulette
by XxXMiyavisHeartXxX
Summary: SEQUEL TO BUTTERFLY FLY AWAY! MiyavixUruha, AoixReita, ReitaxSaga, AoixByou, RukixKai, KaixGackt, MikuxTakuuya, TakuyaxGackt, GacktxShou, MAYBE: Miyavix?
1. Chapter 1

It was dark out. The sky was black, and no stars showed. They tiny bright lights were far away, hidden beneath the smog of the city. Smoke filtering out of his mouth, the once blonde looked up at the previously describe night sky with an emotionless, blank stare. After moving to the city, he had died his hair back to his natural colour, in order to escape the horrible memories from his past. He no longer wished to remember the raven haired male of his past. He had a new one now, and he was more than happy with this person. Granted, it wasn't the same sort of relationship he had before, but he wasn't going to bother trying to find something better. He was happy with what he had. He looked over as the door to the club opened and a short blonde poked his head out of the door.

"Akira, your break is almost over," the blonde smiled at him, and walked over to the man sitting outside. Akira smiled up at him, and wrapped an arm around his waist, kissing his cheek. The blonde grinned and leaned against him, wrapping his arms around Akira's middle.

"Takashi….I love you," Akira spoke kindly into the other's ear, stroking his arm lightly as he let the other lean on him. The blonde, Takashi, grinned and sat up to kiss the other. Akira grinned, and kissed back, happy to have the other near.

"I love you too, Akira, but you should really get back to work. I'm up soon anyways, and I doubt that you want to miss the show," he said, winking at him. Akira smiled slightly and nodded, helping the other stand up with him. Walking in together, Akira put the black apron back around his waist, it holding the drink list he needed for working at the bar in the local strip club.

~!~

"Takashima, get your ass in here!" the doctor yelled into the hallway. A tall blonde intern stood up quickly at the chance to help out, and use what he had learned. Rushing into the room excited, Kouyou looked around for what he would get to do, disappointed when he was only told to go and clean a couple of utensils. He sighed, and took the blood covered objects and went to the sink, starting to wash them off. He had been an intern for just about a year, and he had barely gotten to help at all with surgeries. It wasn't as if he didn't know what he was doing. He was the top in his class, and he remembered most of what he learned, making him the first one they should have called during a surgery, but instead, almost his whole class had gotten to do something amazing yet, and he was stuck cleaning the scissors and knives. He didn't understand why most of the doctors here didn't want him to do anything. Sooner or later, he was just going to get kicked out when he didn't have enough experience! Why couldn't he be responsible for more than just cleaning up? He didn't go to school for that long to become a janitor, no! He went to become a doctor! And damn them if he wasn't going to become one!

Once everything was cleaned up, he was pushed to the side as the rest of the doctors and a few other interns left the room. Kouyou was sure that they wouldn't treat him this way if they knew who he really was, but that would only create more problems that he didn't want. Him and Takamasa had come to Kyoto to have a normal life, or so he thought before had been told that he wanted to try and make it as a soloist. They had fought almost all night about that. Kouyou was certain that he didn't want anything to do with the music industry anymore after what had happened, and he had thought that Takamasa had stood behind him on that. He had even gone back to using his birth name when Kouyou had. But now that he was starting to become more and more known, he had gone back to being called Miyavi as his stage name. He guessed that he couldn't stop the other, but he didn't want anything to do with that anymore; it brought back bad memories of Kai…Ruki…Aoi. Kouyou sighed and went to get changed as the work day was once again over without him doing something worth anything. It was getting harder and harder to believe that he could actually do something in this world other than music. His parents were happy that he was finally becoming a doctor like they wanted and stopped what they called "that silly music thing". Packing up his things, he started on the long walk home. They couldn't afford a car right now; actually, they couldn't afford much else other than rent. Kouyou was earning little for the internship he was in right now, and Takamasa still wasn't selling many copies of his album. He had yet to be signed to a company, and despite Kouyou's dislike for Takamasa's choice of career, he desperately hoped that he would get signed. At least then they could afford to eat more than hotdogs for dinner every night.

~!~

At the Peace and Smiles Company, two people sat alone in an empty recording room. As everyone else was going home, they stayed back to work on a guitar and vocal solo part of their new song. As the guitar strummed on, the melodic voice carried over into the microphone, fitting perfectly with the sounds of the guitar. The blonde grinned and glanced back at the guitarist as the song finished. Walking over, he took the guitar out of the other's hand setting it aside before sitting in his lap.

"Miku…," the guitarist said, smiling at the vocalist, wrapping his arms around his thin waist. Miku smiled down at him, leaning over to kiss him sweetly, his hands on the other's shoulders. The guitarist responded happily, pulling him closer; both of them having forgotten that they were still being recorded.

"Takuya, you are _such_ a _great _guitarist…," Miku said seductively into the guitarist's ear, "it makes me _so_ hot." Takuya grinned at that, his hands moving down the other's back.

"Yeah," Takuya moaned slightly as Miku suddenly moved his hips against the others, "oh, that much huh?" Miku grinned at that, and rolled his hips again, getting another moan from Takuya. "What do say to you and me going back to my place?" Miku grinned quickly and nodded, taking the other's hand and leading him out of the room, completely forgetting about turning off the recorder as they walked out.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been three years since the dreadful day. Three years tomorrow, actually, and Kai still haven't thought of a plan good enough to get himself out of the mess he was in. Three years ago, Kai was in pain. He was still in pain. Why hadn't he found a way to escape? Because every time he tried, it would only end him up in the hospital, with more lies about how he fell down the stairs, or off a trampoline. Honestly, he didn't know how much more he could stand. He missed his love. He needed to get back to the little blonde. Three years ago tomorrow, Kai thought, everything changed. It went from bad to worse.

_After a night of slaving over the stove, trying to make the famous soloist a nice dinner, Gackt had arrived home. Kai smiled up at the other and welcomed him home with a hug and a kiss. As usual, Gackt's only reply was a quiet mumble of food as he sat down to the table. Anxiously, Kai grabbed the pot and moved over to the other to dish it up. His foot had slipped on a puddle of water on the floor, left over from a melted ice cube from when he made the others drink that morning. _

It was his own fault, he had thought then. The naivety of his situation then had made him only think of that cursed ice cube that had ruined his dinner. It had made him think that it was his fault he had not cleaned it up right away, and had instead forgotten about it. Now, of course, Kai realized that it did not matter whether or not he cleaned up the water or not. In the end, he was actually glad that it had happened. For that was the key to him getting his memory back.

"_You idiot!" Gackt yelled at the other as Kai lay on the floor, dinner having fallen around him during the fall, all over the floor. Kai stared up at the other in horror, and felt his heart sink at the failed attempt at making the other feel better when he came home; hoping for once, that he would not be beaten. _ _Now, he was sure that tonight might even be worse than before._

Around that time, Gackt had started to grow tired of Kai. He was gone long hours of the day, often coming home, smelling of sex and other men; sometimes even women. It had hurt Kai, who at the time, still believed that Gackt might actually love him. How stupid he had been, but it was all due to the memory loss. That night had changed everything. Everything had been meant to be. From the time he slipped, to the end of the night when he passed out after the other had hit him in the head with the baseball bat they kept by the door. The next morning, Kai could remember everything. It had seemed that after the fall on the bridge, when he hit his head, he had lost his memory. Another hit to the head, and he remembered it all. Now, Kai only wished that he could escape the prison he was in, and make it back to Ruki.

However, Kai couldn't help but wonder why Gazette's vocalist and his lover, had not found him yet. He was sure that he would be looking for him, no doubt, but he couldn't be _that_ hard to find, could he? After all, he had gone with Gackt during his recording plenty of times, and he was sure that he would've run into his band at some point. Especially during the many times Gackt had done a group project with different bands from PSC. They had gone directly to the company building for them, and there was no possible way that Gazette wasn't there.

The door slammed shut, and Kai gasped. Dinner was still on the stove and the other was already home! He whimpered at what might happen to him now, and wished; hoped, that Ruki would find him soon before he was beaten to death.

~!~

In downtown Osaka, a famous restaurant is packed with customers eagerly awaiting their meals, or telling the waiters how wonderful the food tasted. It was lit with a yellow tint from the dimmed lights hanging above the tables in exquisite renaissance chandeliers. Painted pictures on the wall show rare flowers and mountain views, as well as a few of spring Japan with pink cherry blossoms floating in a breeze. To a certain head chef, this was his favourite picture. He didn't see much of the lovely cherry blossoms anymore with his new job. He was way too busy all day making sure that the restaurant kept up its reputation, and if he stopped for just a minute, it would all go downhill.

It made the cook swell with pride at how well the restaurant had made it. It was top list on all the most important places, and was packed full every night. He was even starting to earn more than he did during Gazette, and that made it even better; to know that he was that good. Sometimes, he wondered how the others were doing. He hadn't visited Ruki since he moved away, though he was sure that Uruha still kept in touch with him. He hadn't spoken to any of them since he moved away. It just hurt too much, and though he was healing quickly due to the success of the restaurant, he knew that if he were to talk to them again, the wound would just reopen.

"Yuu, two more of tonight's special!" one of the waiters called to him. Aoi grinned and nodded his understanding to him as he ran off to take more orders. He didn't want his restaurant to be famous for the wrong reasons, making it obvious that he had to change his name back. It didn't stop a few of his employees from knowing who he was, since he didn't change his look at all. He still rather enjoyed it, after all. Luckily, he had dependable employees who would never go around telling the whole world. Part of that could be because they were very loyal to him, or it could be because they didn't think they could handle any more customers. Aoi had thought about moving to a bigger location, as it would increase his profits, but he wasn't sure that he could handle it then. He would have to hire more chefs, and teach them everything he knew, and it was more of a hassle then it was worth. However, he really should have someone who could take over for him in case he ever had an emergency and needed to leave; though he doubted that anything would tear him away from his job.

~!~

Music rang through the area as a large group of people stood around the musician, grinning from ear to ear as they listened to the words sung along with the notes. It was a sight to see, and anybody would be proud to have this person as their own. He had extreme talent; anybody could see that. No doubt he would make it to the big time. Uruha stood a ways off, watching quietly; a frown on his face. He knew he should be proud of his lover, but he just couldn't help feeling that the other was completely disregarding his feelings towards going back into music. Even as only a companion to the actual musician. There would still be press, and the news that Miyavi was with him would only cause more unnecessary hassle, and he didn't need that. He was supposed to be focused on his new career. Granted it wasn't taking off too fast, but in time he would be a major surgeon, and he didn't want anything to get in the way with that.

As the playing stopped, he sighed. He knew that for now, he just had to go along with it, and be proud as anyone else would. Walking over, he sat beside the tall guitarist and kissed his cheek. Yes, it was hard, but that's what you do for love, right? But does also include giving up any belief in your own feelings, too?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Takashi sat in his small apartment he shared with his boyfriend. It was situated in a small, poor neighbourhood down the street, only blocks away from his work. His boyfriend, Akira, worked with him in the bar, and together they made enough to support themselves; barely, but it was a start, and they were happy. It wasn't much, but this small apartment was all they needed. A kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom; of course, some of these rooms were more used than others. Takashi grinned at that. Yes, he and his boyfriend did have a rather active sex life, but that wasn't really what made them, well, them. Takashi thought back to how it began.

He had met Akira at his work. At the time, the other was blonde, and seeming to have been going through a hard time. Takashi had assumed that he was going through a bad break up. Unfortunately, the situation had not exactly reached that point. Takashi hadn't known about Akira's boyfriend. It was just another job; that turned into something more.

He was doing his usual show that night; it always drew a crowd….and a large pay check. He had seen the other, and was transfixed. The blonde hair, the black eyes; it was all drawing him closer. As he kept watching the other, his moves as he danced became even more erotic, and he could tell that it was getting to the blonde. He smiled at the other, motioning for him to find him backstage before walking behind the curtain into his private room. Usually he would have a line up after a show, and he would just take a few randomly throughout the night; but not that night. He ignored the many guys that kept trying to win each of them a spot that night, and pulled the blonde into his private room, pulling the curtain shut.

Takashi didn't know that the other was taken. Usually it wouldn't have bothered him. It was a pay check, and really it didn't matter who it was he was with that night. He liked sex, and sex, well; sex seemed to love him as he was one of the most famous dancers in the district. Men paid millions to sleep with him, and he didn't mind. It certainly paid the bills, for sure.

Well yeah, at first it bothered him that he was seeing someone with a boyfriend. He never condoned the fact that he was stealing such an amazing person from someone else that probably deserved him more. But from what Akira had told him about the mysterious boyfriend, it didn't seem like a wonderful relationship. It seemed only a source of pain for the blonde he had started to care for so much.

~!~

Miyavi woke as the sun shined brightly onto his face from the open window. He groaned and rolled over, wrapping his arm around the body beside him and smiled. Uruha, or Kouyou as he liked to be called now, was amazing. He was everything that Miyavi needed, and he was the most comfortable person ever. His skin was so soft and…squishy? Miyavi opened his eyes and, despite the slight sting as the sun once more shined into his eyes, looked over at the spot where Uruha was supposed to be laying. Instead, his arm had a tight hold on his lover's pillow; his lover's empty pillow. Why was Kouyou not lying beside him?

Miyavi sat up and looked around. Their room looked the same; small, tight for space, but it was theirs, and yet, no Kouyou. Getting out of bed, Miyavi pulled on a pair on boxers before leaving their bedroom in search of his missing lover.

"Kouyou?" he called as he walked down the hallway, searching for the other, "Uruha?" Thinking that maybe the other would react more to the old stage name, he continued searching for the other, finally finding him on the bathroom floor. "Love, what are you doing in here?" Kouyou looked up at the other, and shakes his head.

"It's nothing," he said quietly, starting to get up, "I guess I just drank too much last night, and got a little sick." Standing up, Kouyou struggled to keep his balance, and almost fell over. Miyavi quickly caught him in his arms and lifted him into his arms. Carrying Kouyou back to the bed, he covered him up in the blankets, shutting the blinds, thinking hard. Walking back over, he sat beside his blonde lover on the bed, stroking his hair lightly, brushing it out of his face.

"Kouyou…you didn't have anything to drink last night," Miyavi said, slightly confused. Kouyou looked up at him, confusion in his eyes, though clouded by exhaustion. Miyavi sighed and kissed the other's forehead. "It doesn't matter I suppose. Just try and rest alright love?" Kouyou nodded and closed his eyes, curling up under the blankets. Miyavi smiled, and watched as he lover slowly drifted off into sleep. Kissing his cheek, he left to clean up.

It worried Miyavi that Kouyou was getting sick when he didn't even drink. He thought that maybe it could be food poisoning, but they had noodles last night, so that couldn't possibly be it. He sighed and shook his head. If the other still wasn't feeling good in a couple of days, he would take him to a doctor. He knew that Kouyou didn't like when the other spent so much on him, especially since they did not have much to spend at the moment. This was different though, if he was sick, Miyavi didn't want the other getting seriously sick. Miyavi wanted to make sure that Kouyou was alright. He loved him. He would never want anything bad to happen to him.

~!~

Miku put away the dishes his washed after dinner. It was a quiet night, and he had nothing planned. He lived alone, as him and Takuya had not made the big move to live together. His plan tonight was to eat ramen and watch television by himself; just relaxing after a hard week of recording. Sitting back on the couch, Miku closed his eyes for a moment and sighed contently. This was the life. Of course, it obviously wasn't with the busy days, and long tours; Miku didn't care right now, as he could finally relax. Until the door bell rang. Miku groaned and got up, shuffling over to the front door, opening it slowly.

"MIKU!" the voice called happily before hugging him tightly. Miku tensed for a minute before realizing that he recognized the person latching onto him. Miku pulled away to look into the young face of the other.

"Takuya, what are you doing here? I thought you went to visit your parents this weekend?" Miku said, instantly letting the other into his home. Takuya bowed thankfully and took off his shoes, walking into the other's home happily as Miku followed, grinning at the other's surprise visit.

"My parent's accidently double booked, so I came back. They're going to Australia. You know they're big travellers. Anyways, I knew you were spending the weekend alone, and I thought I'd stop by. I hope that's ok?" Takuya asked, turning to look at Miku. Miku smiled and kissed his cheek before going to sit back down on the chair, motioning for the other to follow.

"It's perfectly ok. I'd love to have you hear. As long as you're quiet," the other joked quietly, leaning against him as Takuya sat beside him. Takuya stroked the other's hair soothingly, smiling down at his lover. Miku smiled, glad that the other had shown up. It was so much easier to relax when the other was with him. Closing his eyes, it wasn't long before he was asleep. Yes, he could get used to this. In fact, he'd already had.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a weekend, and Kouyou and Miyavi were asleep in bed. It was typical for them, as neither really liked to wake up until their bodies naturally did it for them. Of course, it didn't happen much. Miyavi was mostly out and about, playing in streets and gigs whenever he could, trying to get noticed. He knew that it wasn't fair to put the full responsibility of earning money on Kouyou, especially when the other was only an intern at the hospital and made little to no money. But he was sure that he would get his big break, and be able to give them a much better life. Miyavi could sleep easy, knowing that at one point he would be able to change his life for the better. He had not a doubt in his body, and it sure showed when he performed, that he was even getting a little full of himself, but still he slept on without guilt, even as Kouyou whimpered in his sleep beside him.

The blonde beside him whimpered in his sleep, hands clenched tight as he slept through the quickly developing nightmare. Although the sounds he made were getting to be quite loud, it still didn't seem to be waking Miyavi up. The taller man only awoke as Kouyou started to move around more, his clenched hand hitting the new guitarist in the face. Waking suddenly, Miyavi looked over, cursing tiredly until he saw that the other was still asleep. Frowning, he watched as the other continued to freak out. He had never saw the other being this violent in his sleep before. It was actually a little scary. He jumped suddenly as Kouyou screamed, and stared at the other. What the hell was the other dreaming about?

Listening closer to what Kouyou was mumbling, Miyavi managed to make out a few words, "…no…get out...no, I don't want…stop…." Blinking, he sat back confused. He thought about it, but it couldn't mean much, right? It was just a bad dream, nothing more. But then, why was the other getting so violent? He had never seen the other acting like this in his sleep. Shaking the other's shoulder a bit, Miyavi hoped to wake the other. When no change occurred, he shook him a bit harder and frowned.

"Kou?" he called out the other's name, starting to get a bit worried. What was going through the other's mind that was scaring him this much? By how the other sounded, he had a pretty good idea, but he didn't know for certain. He wanted to wake Kouyou up, but it seemed useless as his movements were getting so violent Miyavi himself was kicked out of the bed. From his spot on the floor, legs still sprawled on the bed, Miyavi got fed up. Nothing was going to wake his lover up, and he needed his sleep! Grabbing a pillow and a blanket from the hall closet, Miyavi set himself up on the couch and went back to sleep, unaware of the horrors going on in Kouyou's mind.

~!~

Ruki looked down at the clothes he was dressed in. They didn't fit him as well as they used to, but he was happy enough to be wearing something normal. Looking around, he saw plenty of green grass and a sun shining over him, warming his back. He was also happy that it would be this nice on the day he finally got out of that place. The nurse had said that someone would be picking him up, but he wasn't sure who it would be. His friends hadn't come for a visit in almost a year. It made him sad, but he realized that they must have moved on. He sometimes felt depressed about that, but his medication usually took care of that.

The last time Ruki had seen any member of the band was Uruha. He and Miyavi had come for a quick visit last summer. It had been explained to Ruki that Aoi and Reita had moved away to another city. He supposed that explained why they didn't visit as much as they used to, but it hurt more when Uruha informed him that he and Miyavi would be doing the same. His entire band, stretched across the country. It had made him cry, and the nurses almost took him away.

In the end, Uruha had ensured Ruki that they were not moving far, and would still visit him. It had made Ruki a happy little chibi as he was escorted back to his room, but not long after that did he hear that they were in an accident that wrecked Miyavi's nice blue car. Ruki felt awful hearing about this; he really liked that car.

Thinking back now, Ruki realized that those thoughts would have indeed made him seem insane. He had been more upset about the destruction of the beautiful car than his friends. But when they changed his medication once more, things finally seemed to be a bit clearer. He felt himself again, and the pills blocked most of his past; blocked the painful emotions that used to make him regress back to the crazy Ruki that had been thrown into this building by his own friends. They didn't believe him…but he knew…he knew…

Ruki shook his head. He was not supposed to be thinking about this anymore. It wasn't good for him. Looking up, he saw his parent's car pull up and sighed. Of course it would be them; none of his bandmates would come anymore. He was history to them too. He sat quietly in the back of the seat, thinking about things. Where he would go from here? What would he do? Already he knew…

~!~

Miku paced the floor of the practice room worriedly. Why wasn't he here yet? All the others were here, worrying with him, but none said anything. They'd all called Takuya repeatedly, but only got his voicemail. It wasn't like him to be late, or to not even show up at all. Practice had been scheduled for eight in the morning. Here it was, one in the afternoon and he still hadn't shown. Miku had gone to his place to look for him, and even phoned his parent's up, forgetting that they were still out of the country.

"Where could he be?" Yuuki spoke up in the silence. Miku just shook his head worriedly. This was not like Takuya at all. At the very least, Takuya would _always _pick up his phone for Miku. Always…

~!~

Yuu figured this night would be like any other; busy and lively. He never expected someone to walk in here, and not walk out. The night was going well; he had good staff working tonight who handled the busy night well. Yuu was in the back doing what he did best, loving the smell of the food cooking as he stirred the soup.

"Sir," a young waiter, Toshi, called out to him. Yuu looked over curiously. "Someone wants to talk to you." Now, Yuu would never say no. He liked talking to his customers. So instead he got Toshi to watch the food so it didn't burn and went out into the restaurant. Going to where Toshi said the customer was seated, he stopped for a second. The man was gorgeous. He looked so sophisticated, wearing a specially tailored suit; this man was worth something. Yuu shook himself out of his daze and went over.

"Good evening. What can I do for you?" he asked the man, trying not to lose control of himself and let a blush show. He wasn't used to being intimidated by someone's beauty. He usually was the one doing that. So instead, he ignored everything his mind and body were saying and focused on the customer. He then noticed the blonde beauty was checking him out. Wait, what? Yuu cleared his thought and the man looked back up at him, looking sheepish for getting caught.

"I wanted to compliment your food. What's your name?" Yuu smiled at the man. He'd dealt with this before. Just a quick customer to say thanks, and then he'd be back in the kitchen where he belonged.

"Shiroyama Yuu desu," he said without thinking. Wait, no! He wasn't supposed to give his full name! People knew him by his full name. He looked to the man who raised a brow. Maybe he wouldn't believe him.

"You've gone pretty under the radar lately." Shit. He knew. Yuu let out a sigh.

"Yeah, well, I'm trying not to let my past interfere with the present." The blonde nodded and smiled. Yuu watched him, unsure what to think of this man. What exactly was it he wanted.

"That makes sense then."

"What does?"

"Why you haven't expanded your restaurant." Yuu stepped back and sighed. Was that what this was about? Another rich bastard trying to buy him out?

"I like my restaurant the way it is. Owned by me, and run by me. Thanks for the compliment on the food." And without another word, Yuu went back into the kitchen. Who the hell did he think he was?

~!~

He ran. He ran faster than he even knew he could. His entire body hurt; bruises from the past making their pain known again once more. He wasn't looking back. He didn't want to get caught. He didn't know where he was, but he had stolen about three hundred from Gackt and was gone. When Gackt had come home that night, he hadn't paid any mind to Kai at all. The drummer was surprised to see that Gackt had brought home another man; the first time he had actually done so. However, Kai noticed that this boy wasn't like the others. He didn't want to be here.

Kai knew he should help the boy, but this was his only chance at an escape. Chances were that Gackt would have his fun tonight, and kick the boy out when he was done. He did look familiar though…

He spent no more time thinking about this as he continued to run. Soon enough he found himself staring at the house he and Ruki had been sharing so long ago. He didn't recognize the car outside, so he looked in the window. A family he didn't recognize were eating dinner at a table he didn't recognize. _Ruki had moved? _


End file.
